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Cancelling Cable - SNL - read the full article about Call center services, Call Center Services and Calling and answering from Saturday Night Live on Qualified.One
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[ PHONE RINGING ] >> YEAH, HELLO? >> THIS IS A CALL-BACK REQUEST FROM SPECTRUM CABLE.
PLEASE HOLD FOR A REPRESENTATIVE.
>> HI, THERE, THIS IS MATHEUS WITH SPECTRUM CABLE, IS THIS BRAD HERMAN? >> YEAH, HI.
>> HI.
AND WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH TODAY, MR. HERMAN? >> I JUST NEED TO CANCEL MY CABLE.
>> OH, IM SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT, MR. HERMAN.
BEFORE WE BEGIN, WOULD YOU LIKE TO ADD A TELEPHONE LAND LINE TO YOUR CURRENT PACKAGE FOR $12.99 A MONTH? >> NO, IM GOOD.
I JUST NEED TO CANCEL THE CABLE.
I TRIED TO DO IT ONLINE BUT IT SAID I HAD TO CALL.
>> OF COURSE, MR. HERMAN.
MAY I ASK THE REASON FOR YOUR CANCELATION? >> YEAH, MY GIRLFRIEND AND I BROKE UP AND IM MOVING OUT.
>> OH, NO, IM SO SORRY.
IM SO SORRY YOUR RELATIONSHIP FELL APART, MR. HERMAN.
MR. HERMAN, MAY I ASK THE CAUSE OF THE BREAKUP? [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO.
THATS PERSONAL.
>> OF COURSE, MR. HERMAN.
PLEASE WRITE DOWN THIS REFERENCE NUMBER IN CASE WE GET DISCONNECTED.
DO YOU HAVE A PEN AND PAPER HANDY? >> NO.
NOT REALLY.
>> WONDERFUL.
MR. HERMAN, THE NUMBER IS 7-B AS IN BOY, F AS IN FIGHT.
G AS IN 5G.
PLEASE HOLD FOR A CANCELLATION AGENT.
>> YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US AND WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE ORDER THAT WE FEEL LIKE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HI, THIS IS TANYA.
FOR SECURITY PURPOSES, CAN YOU TELL ME THE 42-DIGIT CUSTOMER PIN NUMBER THAT CAME ON YOUR FIRST BILL? [ LAUGHTER ] >> ON MY FIRST BILL, THE ONE I GOT SIX YEARS AGO? I DONT HAVE THAT.
>> NOT A PROBLEM.
WE CAN USE ONE OF YOUR SECURITY QUESTIONS.
WHAT CITY DID YOUR MOM LOSE HER VIRGINITY IN? [ LAUGHTER ] >> THATS DISGUSTING.
I DONT THINK I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT.
>> WELL, AND THAT IS WHAT YOU ANSWERED.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, SO WHEN IS A GOOD TIME FOR A SPECTRUM TECHNICIAN TO COME INSTALL YOUR NEW LAND LINE? >> NEVER.
I DONT WANT A LAND LINE, OKAY? I WANT TO CANCEL MY CABLE.
>> OF COURSE.
SO I WILL TRANSFER YOU TO CANCELATIONS.
IVE BEEN TONYA.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WI-FI TROUBLE? TRY UNPLUGGING YOUR ROUTER AND SPITTING IN IT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> THIS IS DONNA WITH SPECTRUM.
JUST TO CONFIRM, IT SAYS HERE YOURE LOOKING TO PAY MORE MONEY FOR LESS CHANNELS? [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, NO, WHY WOULD I WANT THAT? >> IM NOT SURE, SIR.
THATS WHY I ASKED.
[ LAUGHTER ] HOW DARE I, RIGHT? PISSING ME OFF.
HOLD, PLEASE.
>> DUE TO HIGHER THAN NORMAL CALL VOLUME, YOUR CALL WILL NOT BE ANSWERED.
GOOD-BYE.
>> OH MY GOD.
YES, HELLO? >> HI, MR. HERMAN, THIS IS TINA WITH SPECTRUM, HOW ARE YOU THIS AFTERNOON? >> HONESTLY, NOT GREAT.
HOW ARE YOU? >> IM -- NOT GREAT EITHER, ACTUALLY.
[ LAUGHTER ] MY LIFE IS PRETTY MUCH FALLING APART.
AND IM SORRY, ILL TRANSFER YOU, THANK YOU FOR USING SPECTRUM, PLEASE HOLD.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> DOING NO-NUT NOVEMBER? SPECTRUMS GOT YOU COVERED WITH A SELECTION OF SEX AND NUDITY MOVIES ON DEMAND.
>> NO-NUT NOVEMBER? >> HEY WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE, MAN? [ LAUGHTER ] >> IM SORRY? >> YEAH, THIS IS A SPECTRUM TECH.
I AM ON YOUR STREET TO INSTALL YOUR LAND LINE.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I CANT FIND YOUR HOUSE.
>> NO, NO, NO.
I DONT NOW HOW THIS LAND LINE THING GOT STARTED BUT I DONT WANT ONE.
>> NO, NO, ITS TOO LATE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, MAN, ITS TOO LATE.
>> LIKE BASKETBALL? OUR GAME DAY SPORTS UPGRADE GETS YOU THE NBA NETWORK AND 85 SPANISH LANGUAGE SOCCER CHANNELS.
>> HELLO? HI, MY NAMES ADAM, IM A CUSTOMER SERVICE REP, HOW ARE YOU? >> NOT GOOD.
YOU KNOW, IM VERY CLOSE TO BEING TRIGGERED HERE.
>> VERY COOL.
[ LAUGHTER ] LET ME PULL UP YOUR ACCOUNT.
WHAT THE HECK? SORRY, MY COMPUTERS BEING CRAZY RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] LET ME GET YOU BACK TO SOMEONE ELSE.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
>> DOMINOS? THEY TRANSFERRED ME TO DOMINOS? >> WHO, SPECTRUM? THEY DO THIS ALL THE TIME, ILL TRANSFER YOU TO A CANCELATIONS REP.
>> OH, GOD.
THANK YOU.
YOUVE HONESTLY BEEN THE MOST COMPETENT PERSON IVE TALKED TO TODAY.
>> THATS CRAZY BECAUSE IM HIGH AS HELL.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WANT PREMIUM CHANNELS WITHOUT PREMIUM PRICES? NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
WED LOSE A TON OF MONEY.
>> HI MR. HERMAN.
>> HI MR. HERMAN.
>> OH MY GOD, MARCIE, WE BOTH ANSWERED THE SAME CALL! [ LAUGHTER ] >> WERE SO CRAZY.
>> SORRY ABOUT THAT, ILL HOP OFF.
>> ME TOO.
>> WAIT NO, DONT BOTH HOP OFF -- >> HOLD, PLEASE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT YOUR BILL? ASK YOUR HUSBAND TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.
HI, MR. HERMAN.
ITS MATHEUS.
>> DUDE, IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT, GUESS WHAT? IT HAPPENED.
I AM TRIGGERED.
I AM TRIGGERED.
THE NEXT PERSON YOU TRANSFER ME TO BETTER HAVE THE POWER TO CANCEL MY CABLE.
>> ARE YOU SURE, SIR? >> YES.
1,000%, YES.
>> VERY WELL.
ILL TRANSFER YOU NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WHO IS THIS? >> I AM SPECTRUM.
[ LAUGHTER ] THE SOURCE, THE NEXUS, THE PROVIDER.
>> OKAY.
CAN YOU CANCEL MY CABLE.
>> THERE IS NOTHING I CANNOT DO.
FOR I AM MADE OF PURE DATA! >> OKAY, GREAT.
THEN CANCEL MY CABLE.
>> CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SIX MONTHS OF FREE DISNEY PLUS TO KEEP YOUR SERVICE? [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, JUST CANCEL IT.
>> AS YOU WISH.
ENJOY YOUR NEW SPECTRUM LAND LINE! >> IM NOT GETTING A LAND LINE! >> YES, YOU ARE, MAN.
WHERE YOU WANT THE JACK AT? [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Saturday Night Live: Cancelling Cable - SNL - Call Center Services